


Type

by treepyful (treeperson)



Series: This Be The Verse [2]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Externalized homophobia, Fluff, Humor, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Parental Rejection, Teasing, really it's not angsty at all, that's just the background stuff to explain why patrick's insecure, the actual fic is like 99 percent fluffy teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:01:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27547240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/treeperson/pseuds/treepyful
Summary: Patrick looked at him, brow furrowed enough that David was tempted to reach out and smooth it down. Instead, he simply held eye contact with Patrick as he said, “Ted.”“…Ted?”
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Series: This Be The Verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2013583
Comments: 30
Kudos: 170





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**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this and I loved it but then I edited it out of the main story because I couldn’t get it to fit anywhere. I didn’t have the heart to delete it so here it is, a cutesy little vignette where Patrick is insecure and David knows what’s what.
> 
> This is the second in a series for a reason, but can be read separately with the following context: Patrick’s parents refuse to believe he’s gay and instead think that David just took advantage of him when he was lonely and confused; Patrick has since cut them off.

The problem with parents viewing their child’s life differently than the child themself does is that it can really fuck with the child’s perception of reality. Parents know the child for longer than the child even has memories, so the child, understandably, often places the parents on a pedestal of omniscience. When a situation occurs where the child and the parents disagree on some aspect of the child’s life, then the child has a tendency to believe the omniscient parent rather than their own take.

David was no expert, but he had read a _lot_ of self-help forums over the past few years.

So it didn’t surprise him anymore when Patrick – his husband of three years, Rachel’s spectacularly failed boyfriend for fourteen years, and only child of two utter homophobes – occasionally got wobbly about his own sexuality.

“Maybe you’re an anomaly, David,” Patrick said from where he was puttering around the bay window, watering and examining their houseplants, sounding about seventy percent casual and thirty percent serious.

“I don’t know whether that’s a compliment or not.”

“Let’s say it is. Maybe you succeeded in convincing me, an otherwise straight man, to marry you. That’s impressive.” Hmm, about fifty-fifty.

David quietly sighed and used his finger to mark his spot on the page. “Patrick.”

“I’m just saying, maybe my parents were right.” Twenty-eighty and going downhill fast.

“ _Patrick_.”

Patrick looked at him, brow furrowed enough that David was tempted to reach out and smooth it down. Instead, he simply held eye contact with Patrick as he said, “Ted.”

“…Ted?”

David nodded and looked back at the book in his lap, affecting nonchalance as he flipped a page. “Jake.”

“David, what—?"

“Derek, the dance instructor.”

“Why are you—?”

“The honey guy’s son – Matthew, I think?”

David knew the exact moment Patrick cottoned on to what he was doing because he flushed a deep red. “Oh my God, David.”

“That one barista at the good coffee place in Elmdale, what’s-his-name.”

“Curtis,” Patrick mumbled from where his head was buried in his hands.

“Mhm, Curtis. Justin Trudeau,” David continued, his voice as light and unaffected as it was when he started.

“David.”

“Keanu Reeves. Dev Patel. Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park. That model, um, Nyle DiMarco.”

“ _David_.”

Losing the fight to keep the smile off his face, David looked up from his feigned reading and raised a significant eyebrow at his husband.

“You’re gay as fuck, Patrick. And you have a _type_ – tall, dark, and handsome. Well,” David amended with a smile. “Except for Ted. But I think everyone has an exception for Ted.”

“I’m telling Alexis you said that,” Patrick said with a chuckle, his face still flaming.

“You wouldn’t dare.” David narrowed his eyes.

Patrick leaned over the arm of the couch and stole a kiss, slow and affectionate. “No, probably not.” He let out a slow breath and nuzzled his nose against David’s. “Thank you.”

David gave him a soft smile. “You’re welcome. Anytime you feel a crisis of sexuality coming on, feel free to come to me for a reminder of where your tastes lie, darling.”

“Well, considering I’ve got my own piece of tall, dark, and handsome right here, I think I’ll do just that,” Patrick murmured and David smiled into the kisses that followed.

**Author's Note:**

> Schmoop~~


End file.
